Communication is a tool for consistently pulling each other closer together. By freely communicating with your spouse you open the doors to nourishing and growing your relationship. Though it can be challenging, it takes a conscious effort on both of your parts to improve communication in your marriage.
In this article, I will be giving you some tips to help with communicating. Also some ideas on things that you can talk about. And I will explain the 5 love languages which I believe will be a blessing for your marriage.
TIPS FOR BETTER COMMUNICATION
- Make consistent eye contact. This shows you are listening to them.
- Pay attention to non-verbal communication. Communication is not all verbal.
- Do not interrupt. Aim to wait your turn. Did you know the average person only listens for 17 secs to the person that is doing the talking before they interrupt them?
- Be intentional about spending time together.
- Listen without being defensive.
- Stay in the present. Do not continue to bring up the past.
- Avoid screaming or yelling.
- Be honest with one another.
THINGS TO TALK ABOUT
So you know communication is very important in a relationship. But what if you don’t know what to talk about. I am going to give you some suggestions that may help you in this area.
1. Ask your spouse how their walk with the Lord is going.
2. Is there anything that has happened in the home that needs to be addressed before bitterness sets in?
3. Come up with some parenting questions such as: Are you on the same page when it comes to the rules for the kids?
4. And what about the household chores? If you expect him or her to do something and they don’t know that you expected them to do it then you will feel frustrated that it didn’t get done.
5. Talk about work-life and or work outside of the house.
6. Talk about money and your finances. This is very important as most relationships don’t last due to not being on the same page as their spouse when it comes to money.
7. And talk about goals that you may have as a couple.
Make a plan to start talking. Maybe do it when the kids are all to bed. Set up a time but gradually start out with a few questions so that you don’t feel overwhelmed.
LEARN EACHOTHERS LOVE LANGUAGE
What I mean by love language is what you and your spouse would do to one another in order to make you feel loved and appreciated. There are 5 love languages and everyone has one. Let me explain what they are.
Words of affirmations – saying supportive things to each other
Acts of service – doing helpful things for your spouse
Receiving gifts – giving your spouse gifts that tell them you were thinking of them
Quality time – spending meaningful time with your spouse
Physical touch – being close to and caressed by your spouse
Each of us differs in the ways that we receive love or want to be loved. Learning to give love in the ways that our spouse can best receive the love can create stronger relationships. Do any of the 5 love languages speak to you? Which one best describes what you would want your spouse to do for you?
You have to tell your spouse what makes you feel loved and you need to show your spouse love in the ways that they want to receive it. I believe that doing so will help with your communication and bless your marriage.
CONCLUSION
I wish I could say that this is easy. But it takes work and dedication from both parties in order for the marriage to be beautiful. I can tell you that my husband and I were separated for 2 years and the biggest reason was due to not communicating in our marriage. It can truly make or break a relationship.
We had to learn each other’s love language. Once we knew each other’s love language things started to heal in our relationship.
My husband and I swear by the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It will be a good read if you want to see a dramatic change in your marriage. It will take some time. But if you both work at it I truly believe that marriage can be a beautiful thing.
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*Learn each others love language (helped my marriage survive a 2 year seperation)
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Communication in a marriage is key! My husband and I have used discussion cards to bring up new (and important!) topics, but I would saying knowing each other’s love language has been most helpful.
I agree with you that communication is vital to any relationship, especially marriage. That is a good idea to have discussion cards to use as a way to bring up new topics of conversation. Thank you for commenting!