When anger isn’t handled right and we deny it and don’t process it correctly, the hurt we will experience can turn into bitterness and then resentment.
Bitterness destroys people’s faith, health, family, and testimony. It starts out small. Then we replay the events over and over in our heads, which leads to resentment. We hear the person’s name that did us wrong and we cringe. We find ourselves looking for other reasons to dislike this person. Anger and resentment find a way of creeping into every area of our life.
So how do we live at peace? How can we deal with our feelings instead of letting them grow into bitterness and resentment?
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT
Bitterness is a feeling of intense animosity or hostility towards someone or something that has caused pain or suffering. Resentment is a common emotional response to situations where an individual feels they have been wronged or treated unfairly. Resentment is reliving the situation that you are bitter about.
I know a story of a lady that was tormented in her old age by memories of people who had hurt her sixty years before. These people who hurt her had been dead for years and yet her unforgiveness and bitterness was still alive. She knew better and knew God’s word says we must forgive those who have offended us. But this bitterness had gone on for so long that it had taken root in her life. And she had become a bitter old lady because of it.
BIBLE VERSES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT
Hebrews 12: 14-15 says, Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life, for those who are not holy will not see the Lord. Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.
Ephesians 4: 31-32 says, Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
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THE 6 POWERFUL WAYS TO OVERCOME BITTERNESS AND RESENTMENT
First, we are to know that God requires us to forgive.
Ephesians 4: 32 says, Instead be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Second, we are to realize that we are to forgive because God has forgiven us.
John 3: 16 says, For this is how God loved the world: he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
Jesus Christ went to the cross to die for our sins. He loved us enough to go through that. He not only died for you but for the person who offended you. None of us deserve that kind of love, but Jesus freely gives it to us.
Third, we should seek the help of a trusted Christian. When we do they can pray with us through the process that we take to forgiving the person who hurt us.
Fourth, we need to adopt a thankful attitude. Having gratitude forces us to think only of the good in people rather than focusing on the bad.
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Fifth, we should not try to change the person.
Only God can change the hearts of people. That is why we need to pray for them. Which comes to our last way of overcoming bitterness and resentment, we are to pray for those we don’t want to forgive.
I remember years ago I had a fight with my sister over something stupid, I don’t even remember what the fight was over. But I did not want to forgive her. I knew I was supposed too. So I prayed for her and for God to help me forgive her. I prayed daily until I started to feel less resentment and anger towards her.
We cannot do it on our own. Sometimes we think we have forgiven the person but our hearts say otherwise. So we need God’s help and his strength to be able to forgive someone who has hurt us.
Philippians 4: 13 says, For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
God can melt that bitterness and resentment away. We need to persist in praying and believing that God can help us to forgive.
CONCLUSION
Are you holding bitterness against someone inside your heart? Who do you need to forgive? Don’t allow it to become a cancerous growth. Give it to God and watch how God can transform your heart and their heart.
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